Confessions of a snarky, Tito's drinking, Mommy of three adorable monsters.
Today is the very last day of remote learning for my children. On Monday, they go back to school full-time. With their whole class. In person. With their real, live teacher in front of them. And their classmates beside them. Finally. Finally. An entire YEAR of learning disrupted by a global virus. An entire year …
I hadn’t sung in public for probably 10 years when my 95 year old paternal Grandmother passed away two years ago in February of 2019. It was undoubtedly a hard day. I know exactly where I was standing, who I was with, and I’ll see the photos we took that day at the Butterfly Place …
I am a real estate agent. I’d like to start there, because that statement brings on a lot of preconceived notions. Some are true, and some are not. It is true that I see a lot of houses. Like, SO MANY HOUSES. All the time. Many houses. So many friggan houses you guys. I’m blessed …
Y’all. I’m tired. And I miss writing. I miss writing so much and yet, I’m not sure what to write about. I haven’t written a blog post in months and trust me, I wish I had, and I need to write. So I sit here wondering what monumental thing has happened lately and I realize …
2020 has us all on edge. When it can’t seem to get any worse, it does. From murder hornets to wild fires, locusts, explosions, Covid_19, and now losing RBG? We know better than to believe that it’s all over. We’re locking our doors, looking over our shoulders and second guessing things that wouldn’t have been …
As we gear up for the ‘20-‘21, school year nothing seems to feel the same. School is starting later than normal, so my unavoidable memories of these days via Facebook show excitedly nervous faces with brand new clothes and backpacks heading off to their first day of school. First time on the school bus last …
Ok, y’all. I’m probably gonna murder my kids. Like, not literally, but my mom actually told me today that I need a break…after I spilled my vodka/tonic that I had discretely made for myself, with her vodka, before noon. She also bought me a plant and told me to make myself another drink. Thanks, Ma. …
Ok, so imagine that it’s a bright sunny day and you accidentally let go of a few helium balloons and they fly off into the sky. Like a child you feel an immediate anger for letting them go, and sadness that they are gone, followed by despair as you watch those balloons drift off slowly …
Some not-so-snarky thoughts: This evening I crawled into bed between my two little girls. I don’t usually sleep with them, but the world is heavy and confusing right now and they need me. They felt the mattress redistribute my weight and silently nestled their heads into the crook of each of my shoulders. I smiled …
Becoming a mother definitely changes you. I could tell you that it’s sort of like when a caterpillar becomes a butterfly – people love that analogy. Even though we’ve learned through science that the caterpillar actually turns into goo inside the cocoon before turning into a butterfly which is actually kind of gross but lends …
I don’t want to hold your baby. I’m sorry.
Can we talk for one quick sec about my friends?
Let’s talk about visitors, shall we?
Now, you can try to imagine what it might feel like to nourish a floppy blob, but you don’t really know what it’s like until you actually have to feed the frantic screeching mush ball 12 times a day having not slept in what feels like 10 years.
For my 32nd birthday, the universe gifted me a new freckle. Or a mole. It’s probably a mole according to google, but freckle sounds cuter so we’ll stick with that. I haven’t been excited for a birthday in a couple of years. I was so excited for my 30th birthday that we booked a trip …
Surprise! We’ve got Covid. A person thought it would be ok to come INTO OUR HOME after coming into contact with an individual whose father tested positive. Of course, the guy who came into our home thought he did the right thing by getting tested, and the gentleman whose father was positive was also tested. …
Confession: I can’t f*cking stand my son. To be clear, he’s two. Ugh. The kid wakes up before the sun rises every day. Demands Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. AND the iPad. Both. He wants two screens cause one isn’t good enough for this psychopath. He demands orange juice. Or milk. Or both, or more specifically, whichever …
I’m going to go ahead and address the academic elephant in the room. We, as parents and/or teachers, are being invited to a game of Russian roulette. Parents and teachers who love their children and families to death are being forced to contemplate that same death. We love our children and value their education as …